Reminders for Trans People Who Are Tired of Being ‘Brave’
Sometimes, it feels like the world expects you to be brave simply for existing. To smile through misgendering. To educate strangers. To constantly defend your identity. To perform courage that never stops being demanded. If you are tired of being “brave,” this is for you: you do not owe anyone your strength, your patience, or your resilience. You are not a project or a symbol. You are a human being, and that is enough.
You Don’t Have to Be Strong
Trans people are expected to be endlessly strong, endlessly brave. Society expects this image; it’s easier to admire someone who suffers quietly than to confront the reality of inequality. But being tired, feeling overwhelmed, needing rest – these are not weaknesses. They are human. Strength does not have to look like constant endurance. It can be gentle. It can be quiet. It can be simply living authentically, without apology.
It’s okay to stop performing courage for the world. It’s okay to say no. To prioritize yourself. To protect your energy. You do not exist to prove anything to anyone. You exist to live.
You Are Not Here to Educate
Sometimes people will ask questions, make mistakes, or misunderstand. The emotional labor of constantly explaining your existence can be exhausting. People may thank you for “raising awareness” or “educating them,” but your life is yours first. You are not responsible for anyone else’s understanding.
You do not owe lectures on pronouns. You do not owe justification for your transition. Your story belongs to you, and your energy is precious. Choosing when, how, and with whom to share it is not selfish – it’s survival.
This doesn’t mean people cannot learn – it just means you have the right to choose when, how, and with whom you share your experiences. You have the right to educate, but it’s not your duty.
Are All Misunderstanding A Personal Attack?
Not everyone understands, and that’s okay. Most people do the best they can with the knowledge they have. Mistakes, misgendering, or ignorance are not always acts of malice.
You can choose how to respond: sometimes with patience, sometimes with quiet boundaries. Remember, growth takes time, and compassion, both for yourself and for others, is important.
Visibility Doesn’t Require Performance
Visibility is often framed as activism, but it doesn’t have to be performative. You don’t need to smile through microaggressions. You don’t need to post inspirational content or act as a role model to justify your existence.
Your life is valid whether it is public or private, loud or quiet. Authenticity is enough. Living in your truth is enough. You get to define the terms of your existence. You do not have to conform to anyone else’s expectations of courage, inspiration, or bravery.
You Are Human First
Above all, remember: you are a person first. Not a lesson. Not an inspiration. Not a symbol. You are allowed to live fully, with all your contradictions, complexities, and beauty.
You deserve peace. You deserve joy. You deserve to exist without proving your worth. Every breath you take, every day you survive, is enough.
Sometimes the most activist act of all is simply letting yourself be. And that, my dear, is more than enough.
